


can you look towards me and not to the stars

by aura (shadowymagix)



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-21
Updated: 2013-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-27 04:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/974453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowymagix/pseuds/aura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because while Mizar may shine bright, it is Benetnasch who will always shine forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	can you look towards me and not to the stars

**Author's Note:**

> i hurt myself writing this do not follow my example

He tries to tell himself that he doesn’t resent Nasch. He tries to tell himself that he wants Nasch to come back, he wants Nasch to be their leader, he never  _once_  thought that it would be better if Nasch stayed missing. Not at all, never,  _not a single bit_.

And he clenches his teeth and his fists, because he knows he’s only trying to convince himself.

“Mizael?” Durbe’s voice breaks him out of his thoughts, and he forces a grunt in acknowledgement. “You’re early.”

“I needed time to clear my mind,” he says truthfully, but he knows if Durbe ever caught wind of his thoughts, he would never forgive himself. So he stays silent, gives out one worded answers, and pretends he doesn’t notice how his breath catches when Durbe leans against him back to back.

_Touch. Warmth._

Durbe rambles on as he looks up at the night sky, and Mizael listens to the gentle hum of the other’s voice—or at least he tries. Because Durbe traces the stars, the constellations, and Mizael forgets to breathe when Durbe says  _Mizar_  because there’s  _his_  light and there’s _his_  star.

But Durbe says  _Benetnasch_ , and Mizael’s mood turns sour again.

_Benetnasch._

The star’s light is smoldered, tiny, blinking every now and then, as if to remind everyone that it was stillthere no matter if normal eyes could not see it. And he knows, because Durbe says it every night, reminds him that Nasch is out there, that he will never give up hope.

(And Mizael wants to reach up to the sky, wants to take Benetnasch and hide it behind Mizar, wants tosnuff out the light that is the tiny star that holds so much significance, wants to wrap his hands around Benetnasch and hide him away from the world. Not because he’s precious, not because Benetnasch looks so beautiful, but because Mizael is  _envious_  of its attention.)

Durbe shifts subconsciously, presses his back further into Mizael’s, and the warmth spreads through his human body again, and he’s calm, collected, if at least for a while.

He tells himself he should be content with this at least. That Durbe can share with him his worries and troubles, that they can spend a night looking at the stars in mutual understanding and peace, that they can sit next to each other, that they can  _touch_.

But Mizael knows he will never be content until Durbe speaks with such longing towards his star like he does with Nasch’s. So he squeezes his eyes shut, breathes, and listens to Durbe’s tone and imagines that it’s his name. That Durbe is breathless when he says  _Mizar_ —and his heart pounds in his ears so loud that Mizael is scared Durbe can hear it.

And they stay like that, Durbe’s rambling of their stars and his focus on one in particular, Mizael’s ugly thoughts for Nasch to never return (because it’s better if Nasch stays missing, because maybe one day Durbe will grow tired of waiting, because maybe  _one day_  Durbe will look at Mizael with the longing in eyes that his voice amplifies and Mizar would shine even brighter than Benetnasch ever could).

He would care for Durbe better than _Nasch_ ever could.

(But he can only dream.)


End file.
